June 28, 2004
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It's Monday
( In case you forgot...arn't I creative with my titles??)
The weekend was great. Friday involved lots of fun...meeting a bunch of new people, and hanging out with wonderful friends. I can remember all of it...but it's fuzzy at best...and funny...at worst..lol.
Here are a few pictures...
I laughed harder than I have in a long time... One of Angelas friends is really, really fun. And I was so completely comfortable with him...( and this is where it gets funny...) I was so completely comfortable with him, I was holding his hand...we were dancing...blah, blah...all because......I...thought...he...was...gay. Yeah. He's not. Oy. It's a good thing I didn't know that until the next day...I would have been way too embarrassed. I mean, we wern't making out or anything, but still...oy. Yeah, I'm a dork. My gaydar was broken. Obviously...lol. But a good time. The only bad point was went I left my cell phone in the back of the cab. So we were up until 4:30 waiting for the cabbie to come back with it. But hey...I didn't wake up with a hangover..so that's good.
This first one's a little scary..but hey...whatever..lol
Saterday was Bainbridge Island, to go see the in laws. We actually had a great time. It was a beautiful day...and everyone seems comfortable..which is good...because I was kind of scared....
On the way home, Mike and I got into a huge fight. Patterns seem to reform when you're not careful. We were interupting eachother, blaming eachother, accusing...it got pretty ugly. Complete breakdown of communication. And I realized something. I'm angry. Completely angry about everything. Throw things kind of angry. I'm angry at me, at the situation, at Mike, at Aaron, at his parents, at our friends....I'm just a big ball of pissed off. So when I went back to pick up my car at Angelas, I ended up staying, and talking, and crying like I haven't cried in years. Big wrenching sob kind of cry. It felt so awful...but so good. I told her it was like everything had just built to the point of no return, and once the tears started, there was no holding back. I hate how that feels. The complete lack of control of my emotions..the helplessness that comes with it.
But I feel better now...a lot better, because I've purged all of that. I'm still angry, but ready to move forward. A job this week...or next. And I'm going to go spend a week with my mom in July. That will be so nice...just hanging out...being together. It's nice to heal at 'home' you know?
This is a completely random blog, I know...sorry about that...I'm distracted today, by way too much. But I'm smiling..so that counts for something, right?
Going back to the pool today...( I WILL use sunscreen..damn it.) It's hot once again...so the pool will be so nice...Cant' wait!!
My love to you all...have a great Monday.
xoxo
me
P.S....waiting to get pictures sent my way....then I may post a few...( If I don't look completely scary!!)
Comments (17)
cool pic - glad you had a good weekend and smiling is always the best sort of thing!
oh wow! our saturdays are a lot alike (fighting). hope you have a wonderful day and week!
Its always good to cry/vent to get it all out....repressed feelings will eat away at you and its just unhealthy!! Take baby steps to recovery,one day at a time **HUGS**
its also good to hear your using sunscreen hehee
HAVE FUN
the last time i cryed like
that was the night i called
all the employeess at my restaurant.
i had to tell them that we were busted
and could not go along anymore....
that cry almost killed me...
yet it did feel good to get the
junk out...
just keep putting one foot in front
of the other....
t
BIG HUGS - no advice just - BIG HUGS
I'm really glad you got a night out with the girls on Friday... me too... and it was needed. (All though mine was singluar girl, no zzz on the end of that).
The fight sucks of course, its good you got the cry out though as it sounds like it was needed. Much love to you hon and have a great week. Enjoy the pool...
The only thing worse than being in a bad situation is not recognizing it or not being willing to get out of it. Neither of these problems pertains to you, so I know you'll survive this baptism of fire and emerge, cleansed and new, with a fresh perspective on your life. I wish you the best
love the new pics!!!
(((((((hugs))))))) Sorry you fought, but glad you had some cleansing tears......it's not an easy thing you are dealing with. Love the pics!!!
Kira
Actually, I found the first picture lovely. I hope all is well........
sing.
David
Love the pics and those great big smiles!!! Having a good cry - ya need it sometimes, like ya need a shower. It's cleansing.
Glad to hear you had a good time - even if you thought he was gay. FOFLMAO. er...sorry. hehe.
Yeah, old habits and patterns suck and die hard. Best you can do is realize it and try. Anger is hard, but once you can get past it you will feel TONS better. Honest. *HUGS* You know where I am.
love
me
Who's that brunette with you?? She's GORGEOUS!! YOu look pretty stunning yourself! I'm glad you had a fun night! And the fight's with Mike will only get better and smoother and less angry as your hurts heal, eh?? I can't wait to read your next blog... you're the best blogger on xanga, for sure!!!!!!!!! That could be on your resume... professional, articulate blogger... maybe not.
In response to your response to my response (huh??), you are more than welcome. I believe in you, Lav. I expect great things from you
I really liked the pictures and I am glad that you had a good time on Friday.
I'm sorry that you had a fight with Mike. It's hard to heal the sorrow when it gets renewed again. I'm glad that you got to purge your tears. That is a necessity in life that will keep you healthy.
I'm thrilled that you are smiling today and I hope that you continue to smile for many, many more days. {{{hug}}}
As Ever,
Amethyst
Hey Lady,
Tears are good. Like water. They wash the palette and allow you the opportunity to start new.
And BTW!! You look MARVELOUS!!
Comments are closed.