June 12, 2004

  • One Day



    James,


    One day, you'll be my friend...
    Someone I'll laugh with..play with..fight with.
    there will be days when you hate me
    There will be days I can't wait until your 18.
    There will be days when you wish I wasn't your Mother.
    When you wish I would just go away, and leave you alone.
    When you want nothing more than the freedom of Adulthood.


    On those days...on the days when we are at eachothers throats...on the days when I think I can't stand anymore...can't stand you...


    I'll look back..on tonight.  At 2 am, holding you in my arms...with your yellow and blue quilt wraped around you, and your binkie in your mouth.
    I'll look back, and see your pink cheeks, and your eyes barely open.  I'll see the fresh scrape on your forhead, from yet another fall....your blonde hair going to and fro...and I'll feel the softness of it.
    I'll see your eyelashes, your eyebrows...your hand holding mine, as I sing softly to you.  I'll feel your skin...the softness, the warmth...and I'll smell you.  The just-woken baby smell.



    And I'll remember.  I swear, I'll remember.  The love.  The overwhelming, overflowing love that I have for you.  The kind that breaks your heart, at the same time it soothes it.  The kind that makes you want to freeze time, and space, and stay forever in this perfect moment.


    You are my son..a part of me..a part of my soul.  Thank you for being in my life.  Thank you for teaching me, and making me laugh, and making me love like this.


    I love you, baby.


     

Comments (13)

  • I wish I were that eloquent to be able to say that to my now 12 y.o. That is exactly what I see when I am mad at him.

  • what a loving letter. :)

  • plase pint a copy of this my friend
    save it for him
    and someday when the time is right
    give this treasured heart gift to him

    i love this...

    and now i need to go hug my nephews

    sigh

    t

  • Dammit, you're not s'posed to make me cry on my birthday.    How wonderful.   I suggest printing it out too, but for YOU to remember when the going gets tough, and it will. 

  • That's awesome   I'm baaaaack, I've got alot of catching up to do in your blog, hope all is well!!

  • Ahh, very astute. Planning ahead is good.

    Almost made me cry.

    Maybe you should print and frame it for those harder days? ;)

  • to be able to express your total love in words is a gift that is priceless... you are both blessed with one another... yes as suggested above, print this and save it for him...  print all your journal really, for someday he will be grateful to know you as a woman in your own right, apart from you his Mom...

    if that makes sense.  at 49 I am able now to reflect on my father as a man, a boy apart from his relationship to me... now that he has gone and I can view his life and circumstances with some distance and a different perspective.

    words are windows to the soul in many ways... a legacy can be shared that lives beyond the body and can be passed down from one generation to the next

    *LOVE* and ......... yeahhh I'm real glad my poem made you feel lighthearted and good like that!

    me too

  • Your pin-up pictures are awesome.  They remind me of a set of cowgirl greeting cards that I have.  Nice to visit your diary!

  • awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

  • Your love for your son is beautiful.

  • That was beautiful, I hope you will print that and save it in his baby book (providing you have one) and if you don't have one then save it somewhere for him, because that is very special and something he would love I'm sure when he's older, something to appreciate from his mother.

    Nicely done.

  • LOVE THIS!!!!!!:smile:

    Print this and put this in his baby book(if you have one) BTW your baby is soooo CUTE!!!!such a blessing!!!

    My babies are all grown now..the time goes by so fast...enjoy EVERY moment!!!

    Hugs

  • He's such a little cutie. They are such a blessing. Sometimes it can be a little difficult to remember it as they grow and begin to test the limits of they're capabilities physically and mentally.

    I'm glad that you took the time to read my post. I feel very strongly for your situation. I know that many of circumstances that have been catalysts for the transitions are not the same but the need for change is. Humankind is growing (emotionally and spiritually) at such a rapid rate these days. And rarely do you have rapid growth without growing pains, ya know?

    I'll be 30 this year and by no means have I got myself all figured out. I'm just beginning to define MYSELF these days. But anytime you need to talk do not hesitate. I'm here for ya.

    Thanks for sharing!

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