November 19, 2004

• And lives merge

  
  

  

  
  

   

  
  

  I talked to my brother on Tuesday night.  For the first time.  Ever. 

  
  

  When my mom was 19, she gave a baby boy up for adoption.  She felt that was her only choice.  I know those circumstances, but that's her story to tell.  So I'll just tell you mine.  I think she told me about it when I was 12 or 13.  We were driving to Cedarville Ca, from Lakeview, Or.  I remember the exact spot on the highway.  ( Isn't it funny the things we remember?)  I'm pretty sure the reason she told me was to scare me away from all things boys and sex.  She told me it was the hardest thing she'd ever done in her life.  Even then, I had so much awe at her courage to do what she thought was best, for the life she brought into this world.  What floored my adolecent brain, was the fact that I had a big brother somewhere.  Someone out there, was my blood.  I wanted my mom to have another baby so badly, but after me, she was not able to.  I think that was always hard for her.  So for years, and years, I fantasized about this older brother that I had.  What would he look like?  And I was sure he would stand up for me.  My brother, if he were with us, would be the best in the world, and he would love me so much, with all his might. 

  
  

  Life goes on.  But he was always in my mind.  Did he have a family?  What did he do?  What did he like?  Was he even alive?  I've always been one full of questions..( I know, you are all shocked!!  )  I talked my mom into registering with the state of Idahos adoption department.  Just in case he ever wanted to find 'us'.  I think that was in 1999. 

  
  

  At the end of October, I got a call from my mom.  She had received a letter, telling her they had found a match.  They couldnt be sure, but they thought it was.  Now, the thing about being sure is this....how many women put a boy up for adoption, in a small town, in the same week, or even month?  Yeah.  So it was more than probably a match.  And we knew that.  We had to wait a month, and if both 'parties' decided to carry on with the program, they would be sent a certified letter, on the same day, to be delivered on the same day, with each others information.

  
  

  That was Tuesday.  And he called my mom.  OUR Mom.  After they talked, he asked her if she would give me his number, so I could call him if I wanted to.  And I did.  That same minute....
  And he is so wonderfully nice.  It was awkward...but with my whit and charm...lol....it was okay.  Just a little hazy now.  But good.  We talked for over an hour. 

  
  

  He told me bits and pieces of his life.  Most of it not good.  Which is so completely sad, since my moms one hope was for him to have a good life.  Her one huge self sacrafice was for that very reason.  But life is what it is, and he's here now.  Well, not here.  In Oklahoma.  lol.

  
  

  He called me again tonight.  And again, we talked for about an hour and a half.  He is SO funny.  And we mesh so well together.  Never at a loss for something to say.  If you know me at all, you know that I'm a smart ass.  He is too.  We had so much fun, and I laughed, and laughed.

  
  

  So, what do I want for Christmas?  Nothing, I got my present early this year.

  
  

  And what a present it is....

  
  

   

  
  

  Take Care Everyone...

  
  

  xoxo
  
  Jen

  • 12:10 am
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